Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
