He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
