The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
