We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
