I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
