I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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