she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
