Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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