I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
