Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize