How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
