Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
