my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
