shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
