It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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