I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
