By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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