yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize