Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
