Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
