3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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