i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
