I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
