going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
