They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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