just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
