He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize