Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
