Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
