Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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