Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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