im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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