It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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