If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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