I want to have your abortion
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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