i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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