Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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