Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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