when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
