you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
