what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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