She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
