But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
