you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
