Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
