I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
