i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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