I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is Oprah even human
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
