I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
