Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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