My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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