Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
