mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
