I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
time to smoke my breakfast
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
