So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
