Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
