I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
