North Korea, Best Korea!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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