My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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