I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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