He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
