He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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