This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
