I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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