my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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