If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
honey bunches of taint.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
